I am a passionate mama to three darlings, wife to my best friend, and daughter of the most high. I have this electric surge of passion that shoots through my body daily. It comes from a place inside of me that has gained so much victory over darkness. It’s impossible to keep all of this inside. I must give back because my life was spared for a greater purpose than myself.
I entered my teenage years carrying zero self worth due to an abusive childhood while hosting the burden of so many secrets. Secrets I was determined to die with. I mistreated my body with an eating disorder which quickly landed me behind the four walls of a mental hospital. I was hurting so desperately for acceptance and thought I could gain it by being beautiful on the outside. I was so far from health at that time and carried no knowledge on where to even begin.
So, starving myself seemed like the fastest road to beauty. Skin deep beauty was all I was after. Completely driven by vanity and acceptance. I will never forget the doctor walking in and slapping a mental diagnosis on my charts without ever truly talking to me. I started getting fed medication by the droves. I was in such a place of confusion and fear that I just took my medicine and followed protocol.
I was released from the hospital after the longest two weeks of my life. I gained almost one hundred pounds in less than a year. That year was a blur. I was wrongfully diagnosed and stuck on medicine that made me feel like a zombie. I felt numb to any emotions. All I remember was eating and sleeping during that year as those were the only times I found comfort. I could literally feel my body growing as the pounds packed on with each passing day.
I completely stopped looking in the mirror all together. I hated what I saw. I didn’t want to live if this was my destiny. At this point it had nothing to do with vanity. I was humbled to the point where all I wanted was JOY and HEALTH. There wasn’t a single day that passed where I experienced joy. I was drained. Empty. I had nothing left inside of me.
Emptied out was the place God brought me. Looking back, it was right where I was supposed to be. I was supposed to reach rock bottom. I didn’t possess a single dream. Not a dime in my pocket. No hope. Nothing but broken pieces.
My turning point was on my bedroom floor, crying out to God with one of those howling and painful cries, “I can’t live like this. You HAVE to help me. I just want to be healthy and happy again. If you give me back my JOY I will serve you for the rest of my life!”
You better believe I made a deal with God. I needed a miracle.
It was in that moment where I finally felt the light of hope cover my entire being. I knew that God heard me. I also knew that HE was going to help me. That next day I woke up and joined a gym. And my journey toward loving the temple that HE gave me started. I began to feel empowered as I took back my life.
I learned that JOY was up to me, ultimately. That I got to choose it. I began to live life again. I had daily endorphins, I fueled my body with healthy food, and I protected my happiness with every thing I had. I dropped those one hundred pounds and gained complete control over my mind.
After years of chasing after Joy, I began to notice that joy started finding me. Now that I’ve reached this place in my life, I have been called to share my truth. My story was never meant to be a secret. I was preserved for a greater purpose. My story doesn’t own me anymore. I OWN my story. All of it.
I will spend the rest of my life being the hands and feet of Jesus. I am a living testimony of His grace and unfailing love. One of my greatest dreams has been to GIVE every single secret of this healthy lifestyle away for FREE. I didn’t have a single dime to my name when I began my journey so I want to be able to bless many folks with this starting place. I have a complete guide that you can find under ‘Free Programs’. I believe that you are here for a reason.
YOU are enough.
YOU are beautiful.
May God pave this path for you as He did for me.
In HIM and health,