this blog. oh this blog. it's been one of the best, most important pieces of my journey.  a place i've deposited my children's childhood, and a place where i've learned how to share my life.  yes, i've had to learn.  because in the very beginning of my blog (about five years ago!) it was very rainbow and glittery.   only. i never wanted anyone to see anything but the joy.  the clean.  the happy.  but then i became a little more...what's the word...let's go with REAL.  simply because i began to heal a little more with every passing year.  i began to love myself and who i was in CHRIST just a little more.  i started to be okay with being imperfect and didn't care as much what others thought about me.  being imperfect and vulnerable was actually helping me connect deeper with others.  unleashing someone else to walk in freedom. ...

Continue Reading...

I NEVER dedicate an entire blog post to one recipe.  I usually wait until I've mustered up at least three excellent ones and then share them all in one giant post. but when you NAIL IT.  and by NAIL IT, i mean you made plenty enough to eat on for a few days.  but the family went for seconds and even thirds.  leaving you with zero leftovers.  at one point, the husband was doing the shovel-up-scoopy-thingy while hovering the pan over his bowl to get every last drop.  i'm talking he was scraping the pan.  it was a little embarrassing. he kept raving about it with every bite.   and i was just beaming.  i LOVE making him happy by way of his stomach.  it's one of my secret ways i've made him love me so much.  shhhh!  do NOT tell him.  i need to keep all my tricks safe and sound. i ...

Continue Reading...

shame on all us liars.  we tell sweet pregnant women things like this: it's all blissful.  babies breath.  the coo-ing.  the cuddles.  the cute onesies.  the sweet and innocent way they depend on you.  and the way they make you a better person.  the special bond of nursing.  and the chance to see your spouse as a parent is the sweetest ever. the love.  oh the love.  it's immeasurable to anything you can fathom.  their first laugh.  the way they love and need you.  excited for each milestone.  it's truly a life that is worth living.  it gives you purpose and a chance to really pour yourself into something so very worthy.  it's just...so so good.   and none of that is fabricated.  we actually aren't little liars after all.  we just never offer up this: you will be so tired that you grab an empty coffee cup out of the cupboards, sit down ...

Continue Reading...

life get's tough. and sometimes, life takes you under, leaving you emptied out.  life is unfair and unjust.  i'm not one to post how life is hard and tough and full of unfair ground, but today, i am bringing light to this. because it's true. life. is. unfair. have you ever been so broken in life that you fell on your knees, and you couldn't even find the words to pray?  i know i have. have you ever felt that GOD must not be real, because if he were, he wouldn't let these things happen to you?  i know i have. but you see, one thing i've always managed to muster up, no matter the situation i've fallen into, is hope. the bible says that hope deferred makes the heart sick.  in other words, if you put off having hope, your heart will become sick.  let me say that again...your heart WILL become sick, if you put ...

Continue Reading...

right here is where I want to be tonight.  in front of my computer. pecking the keys.  kids and husband are sleeping. lemon water to my left. praise music as my lullaby.  I  truly find myself in this place.  in the quietness of the ending of my days.  just me.  nobody needs anything.  and i have a blank space to write my little heart out.  i like it.  a lot. i also find myself in the middle of chaotic motherhood moments.  something about the way an evening stacks on you in a miserable fashion, can almost bring me a small dose of joy.  i know it sounds crazy, but i can find humor in the fact that i smell poop but can't quite place it.  meanwhile, the older two have been talking in a scream at each other for two solid hours over everything.  all while wondering why they can't just get along, begging ...

Continue Reading...

I do not know one single successful person who was inconsistent. It. Is. KEY. vital. this rings true for any profession.  any goal-setter.  any dreamer.  i remember asking for all this solid parenting advice when i was pregnant with my first born.  i wanted to be WOW'D!  with that one parenting secret.  i remember carefully selecting the parents.  i only wanted advice from parents who had well-rounded, charming, and well-behaved children.  they must have been doing something right.  so off i went.  with my note pad.  audio recorder.  and an eager game face ready to learn the best kept parenting secret so that i could put all that i was about to learn into practice.  and almost every one of them would simply tell me, "be consistent.", or, "consistency", or even, "no matter what, make sure you are consistent.".  that's all, i thought.  you mean i brought my audio recorder, this fancy note pad, and ...

Continue Reading...

my son.  oh that boy of mine.  he came into this world seven years ago and made me plum crazy.  not because he's difficult and hard to raise, but because I wanted so badly to do a really good job raising him.  I wanted him to have everything I lacked growing up and then some.  I read to him every single day, starting in utero.  I fed him all organic,  homemade baby food until he was 18 months old.  i mean...he ate an organic avocado for breakfast every morning until he was 2.  he never heard me raise my voice...like, ever!  he never missed a nap.  and pushing his nap back a half hour was un-heard of.  because my child required those coveted 15 hours of sleep a day or he might become ADHD or something.  he was destined to be the most well behaved child walking on this planet.  yep, he sure ...

Continue Reading...

i am truly so thankful that i am sitting here, the first day off of my ultimate reset, feeling so motivated, energized, light, and at place of complete and total peace of mind.  i had no clue going into this that it was going to cause so much growth.  and with growth comes discomfort, inevitably. and I'm finally starting to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.  it's the only way I'm able to become a little bit better than i used to be.  it's just the only way. i feel like my growth isn't this steady stream.  rather it grows in one area while lacking greatly in another.  i feel mature in my finances for the first time in my entire adult life, yet immature when i hear words like fart, penis, and poop.  i laugh like at seven-year-old when i hear those words.  then you have seasons where your past can play a huge role in your ...

Continue Reading...

oh my gracious.  this has been amazing.  but the amazing didn't come without a climb.  it started out with headaches, extreme fatigue, and strength like a lion.  it's ending with natural energy, zero crashes and zero fatigue, but i'm still holding strong with strength like a lion because it takes a strong will to eat 100% whole, clean, and raw while omitting coffee. but it's my last week and i'm in-it-to-win-it.  this has truly been a beautiful journey and i have already noticed some bad habits break and some new habits that are here for keeps.  i will explain that more on a different blog post because it's deep and this post isn't about deep, raw, and vulnerable.  this post is just for sharing a few fav recipes. first up, my fav breakfast, which might seem boring, but after one week of nothing but whole, raw, and zero processed or sugary foods, ...

Continue Reading...

this is me. a mama trying really hard, daily.  yet falling short every day.  in between the messy and busy I often fall very short.  patience is sheet thin and my voice lacking love and warmth.  those are the days that i am left no choice but to give myself grace and chose to do better tomorrow. and when tomorrow comes, i sip off of that new cup of grace and do just that.  better.  i love harder.  laugh longer.  hug tighter.  and make many deposits that will keep from over-drafting their love accounts. this mama business is about the hardest thing I've ever done.  but it's without a doubt the best part of my life.  i can't imagine not having this kind of love in my heart. this little note is to all you awesome mama's out there who are just really trying your best: while wiping up pee puddles on the floor because you are knee deep in potty training, ...

Continue Reading...