This is just a little love note to all the Moms out there holding it down. I see you. I am you. We are all in this sucker together.
I freaking love Moms. All of them. We all suck at it sometimes.
But also…we are all pretty dad gum good at it, too.
I mean. It’s not easy being at guitar lessons, cheer practice, AND and open house night for Pre-K….all at the EXACT same time.
But somehow. Moms can make it all work. And every Mom is guilty of rushing everyone into the car with that ‘mean mom’ voice. Yelling from the front seat to stop fighting and buckle up. Only to walk in where you’re headed with the fakest, ‘i’ve got this all together’ smile on your face.
Except those Moms that don’t do the fake thing. I like them the most. They walk in saying, “I give up. I need wine!”.
Even when you are high-tailing it to guitar lessons and your nine year old says, “Oops. I forgot my guitar at home” (in a no-big-deal tone!)
In those moments I have to hold back from shaming my kids. Everything in me wants to say, “Really, son…you forget everything lately….it’s got to stop!”.
But. In those hurried, frazzled, over-committed moments. I truly aim to never shame my children. Not when they spill things, forget things, steal things (yes, children take things. And no that doesn’t make them a thief!).
Instead I use logic. I use grace. I can’t raise my children in a shame-filled environment. I’m by no means a perfect parent (OR EVEN CLOSE!), but I’ve read way to much on the damage shaming does to children. So I refrain.
(side note: I have totally shamed them before. I’m not perfect. I’m just hyper-aware of NOT doing it and try hard as HECK to use a different approach! And I almost always go the grace route.).
But. Shaming is NOT what I chimed in to write about today. I just wanted to share some of my mess so that a fellow Mama might find herself in this story and not feel alone. That’s the goal.
So. Moving on.
Then the school sends home one fund raiser after the next. Not to mention the ones for the sporting events.
I mean. Quite honestly. I don’t even want to buy what they are selling. At all. And I always misplace the order forms because I ‘put them in a good place’ but never remember where that place was.
It’s usually under my sun visor in my car. You know, a ‘good place’ for that stuff.
Your children hit you up with puppy dog eyes saying if you sell 10 of those coupon books they win a trip to the Nashville Predators game.
Oh. That’s just freaking awesome. Because….That means 20 books. Since you have more than one kid after the same goal.
Eager beaver over here holding high hopes to help these nuggets hit their goals. Off we went…
I spend my Sunday in the middle of the hottest time of day getting eaten alive with mosquitos (they were getting eaten alive too!). Only to feel like a beggar. Standing in my neighborhood, interrupting people on their weekend, asking them to buy things (things that nobody really wants and feels obligated to buy!).
Most said no, kindly. And one lady shooed us away. Like. She legit took her hand, put it in front of her face, and motioned for us to leave her property.
We sold two.
One for Nathan. One for Lucy.
I told them I had no intentions on doing that again. We were all itching all over with bug bites.
Plus I had already hit up all my friends and family the week before with Lucy’s cheerleading fundraiser.
So I was just….tapped out.
One. And done.
Then there’s these box top things that honestly isn’t big deal.
EXCEPT IT IS!!!!
It’s such an easy (but holy crap it’s hard) way to help fund their school. But. I find it almost impossible to remember to cut them off the boxes.
If you have no idea what a ‘box top’ is, it’s on the top of so many different boxes. Here’s a pic:
I mean. I find it almost impossible to give all my kids enough baths in a week…much less the box tops being anywhere close to a family priority.
I go though each book bag five times. Two times I go through them in my head as I’m trying to fall asleep (so fun!). Double checking to make sure we did all the sight words, spelling words, 20 minutes of reading, homework packet….and of course this is when I remember I threw away 4 items just that day with box tops on them.
I’ll fish them out of the trash tomorrow and support their school (as I’m still trying to drift off to sleep).
Only to toss the coffee filters on top of the trash. Welp. Just ruined any chance at being mom-of-the-year. I want to join the PTO. I really do. But instead I’ll just sign up to stand at a booth for events and do what I can…when I can. Because I’m learning how to say no to certain things so that I can say YES to my number one priority.
In August I added being the assistant coach my sweet Lucy’s cheer squad. But in following my one rule of thumb…something had to give. And. At the time, it was torturous to make this decision, but I hung up teaching my fitness classes for this season. I’ll return to that after cheerleading is finished, but I will never add something on my plate without removing something first. It’s just the way I keep my head above water. My new rule and it’s made my life so much smoother so it’s here for keeps.
I am loving this season my children are in. Yes. We are busy. But I love the ball field (and cheerleading makes me smile!). I love watching my son walk into his private guitar lessons with his guitar case slung over his back. He is doing something that he feels confident and good at. I love that he brings it out at the ball field and plays music for all the kids at the playground. Or when he brings it out at the camp fire and does his thing.
Oh that first born of mine…..
I love that Mary ‘cheers’ even though she’s not on the team (please don’t ever tell her she’s not on the roster—haha!).
Somedays I get behind on all the things and stuff. And somedays I call my Mom, and say, “Wanna hear everything I did today?”. Because let’s face it…Moms are the only ones who care about every single detail of our days.
And I mean they care hard. I love calling and sharing with her mindless things that is not important to anyone else.
Then. There are days where I fall short and worked too much, compared myself to folks who are much more successful than me, and yelled at my children. Or, days that I didn’t do anything on my to-do list and feel guilt over grace about it.
Those are the days that I find Jesus the most. I take in a giant gulp of HIS amazing grace. It’s usually those days where He is just sitting there, sweetly whispering, “You do enough. You are enough. You have enough.”
He loves me. I feel it when I’m up. I feel it when I’m low.
His grace is sufficient for ALL Moms.
Even when we are sucking at it.
And. While I’m thinking about it—this is off subject, but there is NEVER erasers left on our pencils (because elementary aged kids doing homework—insert LOTS of erasing!). So. Almost every night, you can find me biting the silver part to squish up the meat of the eraser.
You’d think I’d grab some at Walmart on my next trip. Nah. I’d rather break a tooth and complain about it 5 out of 7 nights a week.
Any who. Here’s to all my favorite Mama’s out there. Yes. You.
I like you. A lot.
Let’s stay in this sucker together + support each other. Even if we do things differently.
It’s a rough and tough ride. And it’s the sweetest spot of every single one of my days. I love being all tangled up in Momhood.
And. Last thought.
If you’re not working out. You should. That is all.
Rock on, Mamas!
In HIM and health,
‘share’ on your favorite social media forum if you feel the same way.
Have an awesome day in the ‘hood!!!