i am truly so thankful that i am sitting here, the first day off of my ultimate reset, feeling so motivated, energized, light, and at place of complete and total peace of mind.  i had no clue going into this that it was going to cause so much growth.  and with growth comes discomfort, inevitably.

and I’m finally starting to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.  it’s the only way I’m able to become a little bit better than i used to be.  it’s just the only way.

i feel like my growth isn’t this steady stream.  rather it grows in one area while lacking greatly in another.  i feel mature in my finances for the first time in my entire adult life, yet immature when i hear words like fart, penis, and poop.  i laugh like at seven-year-old when i hear those words.  then you have seasons where your past can play a huge role in your growth; whether it’s pulling you back a few steps or thrusting you toward a greater future.  either way, it’s growth.  uneven at times but never finished.

the husband and i have been discussing the subject of growth a lot lately.  it’s important to us.  we can’t live without growing.  and in order to grow, you have to face change.  when i am staring change in the face, it’s always super hard.

like this past change I made in my decision to take on this amazing challenge.  I didn’t just change my nutrition but I also wasn’t able to train the way I like to train.  I had to try-out for a few group fitness classes, but other than that I didn’t workout for 21 days.  growth.  change.  hard. 

giving up coffee.

I took a few sips of husbands because he decided (last minute) not to take this challenge on at the same time he started a new job.  and he was right.  that wouldn’t have been wise.  so there he sat every morning sipping coffee while I would stick my nose under the steam and waft a huge sniff and a few times I just had to take a sip.

and it was divine.  I never felt like I was failing when I would sneak a sip (and truthfully, i didn’t have to be honest and share that with you.).  because I didn’t run to starbucks, grab my usual, and throw this challenge down the pot.  nope.  I stuck to it and did better the next day without taking a sip.  I enjoy my coveted morning coffee.  giving that up was hard.  but after five days, I was truly feeling naturally energized and started researching coffee substitutes.  I really considered giving it up for good, but instead I found a nice balance.  I will be cutting way back and adding my herbal substitute in with my regular coffee blend. 

at first I didn’t add my relationship with Christ in the picture and not because my faith isn’t important to me, but i just saw it as a cleanse for my body.  and left it at that.  then I started feeling out of control in a few areas of my life.  I wasn’t happy with sending my son to school since he kept begging me not to make him go.  I was so broken.  I was truly crumbling.  when I start to carry the burdens of my babies, I crumble.  i can weather any other storm in life, but when it comes to these babies…i need to get a grip.

the bible clearly states in Matthew 11:28--come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest. 

in other words, that’s God’s way of telling us to please hand our burdens over to him.  but he gives us a free will.  and i decided to trust.  i handed my son over to the mighty hands of God and i never picked my boy back up.  instead i prayed. 

the first week, he begged me to not send him.  but i stayed hopeful and prayerful.  believing that God was for me.  that first weekend it was his fishing rodeo with his cub scout crew.  and low and behold he found a sweet little friend named jon who was in his school.  they paired up almost the entire day and my son was genuinely happy and his whole world lit up. 

i went to bed with happy tears falling on my pillow.  thanking HIM with my hands stretched out.

then the second week came and he actually started telling me that he liked school and started firing out new friends names every day.  i was so proud. 

that following weekend, over pancakes, he powerfully states, “hey mom…Jesus is so warm and perfect because we’ve been asking him to help me in school and he did, didn’t he?”.

“HE sure did, bud!” (while tears whaled up quicker than ever!)

and right in that very moment, i realized that it was worth those rough first few weeks to have such a pure and perfect teachable moment with my child.  we snuggled up in his twin bed every night praying for God to help nathan have really happy days at school and to find best friends super fast.

and i can guarantee that his little spirit was asking just as much as mine was.

yay GOD!!!

then i started getting used to school being a fun place in his life.  sure, he doesn’t want to go back on Mondays…but i get that.  he’s just off of a weekend high of no schedule and lots of play time. 

but that isn’t all i had to deal with, emotionally.  right in the middle of all of this was a very huge blow for the husband and i.  we paid cash for a little work truck for the husband.  and since we got such a good deal, we knew we were going to have to put a little money into it and as long as the engine and transmission held up, we can handle the minor hiccups. 

fast forward to four days after purchase.  transmission fell out.  boom.  done.

we were devastated.  especially after the mechanic called and told us it would cost 1700.00 dollars to rebuild.  it truly was such a low blow for us.  i was already without coffee, emotionally sensitive due to all the change and hardships my son was having, and then this. 

i had two choices. i was either going to feel hopeless and throw a fit, or i was going to rise up, and give thanks. yes, you heard me right.  i was going to rise up and give thanks.

here’s why:

because the bible says: if ANYthing is praiseworthy or excellent…THINK ON THESE THINGS. 

so naturally that’s what i did. 

i told the husband that we can look at it two ways:

choice one:  pity party.  yeah, that’s not my style.

choice two:  be thankful that we actually had the money in savings to fix it. 

i chose the later.  now during this time, the husband had to take the only other vehicle we had to work with him, leaving me stranded at home all day for seven days.  yes, you heard that right.  me!  stuck home.  can you imagine??

and i embraced this change because honestly i was feeling so close to Jesus at this point.  my heart was filled with so much gratitude over the quick victory with my son that i was able to find the good in my current situation. 

i dove into this book that was recommended by one of the best friends you could ever hope for. i know she’s not an angel because I’ve known her since highschool, but she never ceases to amaze me with her timing.  she’s an angel to me.  she suggested that i get this new book titled: making good habits, breaking bad habits by joyce meyer. 

i figured if I’m going to be stuck home, i might as well do a little reading if the girls would allow. 

and this book has sparked more growth.  which means more change.  which means more discomfort.

i began to read this chapter titled: the hurry habit, and it hit me.  i need to work on this.  it was as if this chapter was meant for me during this exact season.  that maybe this powerful lesson was worth every bit of those 1700 dollars.  to keep my butt still long enough to truly understand and grasp what it was teaching. 

i didn’t even know that i dealt with this unhealthy habit simply because i thought i was plenty still enough.  after all, i am still right now while i write this blog.  i take hot baths.  doesn’t that count as being still??

when no.  it doesn’t.  you see, i didn’t realize that I’m always on the go.  and not because i have all these appointments all day.  but simply because i must go.  we must be at a local park everyday or out walking this certain trail.  or visiting a fire station.  or spreading kindness at the local walmart parking lot.

yes, all those things are good and i will continue doing each of them.  but what I’ve been learning is that it’s actually okay to stay home all day long.  it really is.  crank out praise music, flit around in dress up clothes, glow sticks, coloring books, and just be.  no need to hurry the day through. 

made me analyze why i was doing all this running around every day.  was i filling a void?  why can’t i just spend a few days indoors?  this certain chapter made me dig deep into my soul.

what i learned is that i want to live more in GOD’S divine rhythm. a rhythm that allows me to do things peacefully and patiently.  not busy and messy. 

after about seven days indoors i began to enjoy the quality of time i was spending with my girls.  i was actually digging deeper into my business and creating new systems for my team to follow in order to help them be a success.

this habit isn’t going to be easy to break, but i do vow to spend the entire day at home a lot more often with lots of extra glow sticks thrown in the mix. 

I’m going to add this change into my life because i feel it’s right.  and eventually, just like any thing else, it will be my new habit. 

and i refuse to work on more than one thing at a time.  so for now i will still laugh when i hear poop and fart, but i will certainly slow down and just be okay with a whole lot of nothingness. 

so while yes, i love all my physical results that i have had on this journey. 

nothing can top what it has done for my spirit man.  i am better because of this ultimate reset and i would like to extend this opportunity to anyone reading this to jump on board as i graciously lead you and a group of others on this same journey where you will commit to eating a healthy and delicious meal plan (never one time feeling hungry), and dig deeper into your prayer life as a little bonus.

what do you say?

if you think you might want to jump in on this particular challenge, please send me a personal facebook message. 

let’s enter this holiday season strong and feeling our very best.

in HIM and in health,

p.s.  one last thing.  we traded our big ole’ diesel truck in and the husband got me a brand spanking new 2015 kia forte.  blessed.  truly.

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