i am drinking coffee. strong coffee. and maybe i should have chose soothing hot tea because i am the most exhausted i think i have ever been in my entire being.
but, instead i write.
and tonight i wanted to do things that recharged my battery. i took a hot bath. i am drinking coffee because coffee rocks my face. and i am writing while praise music hums in the background.
i feel like my tank is empty. i want to fill this blank post up with fabulous summer thoughts and adventures that are still very much stored up in my camera waiting to be deposited. and if you would have caught me this time last week, my post would have made you see rainbows out of your peripheral vision while you read it.
(thank you spell check for helping me spell peripheral).
you see, i have never been as inspired to live beautifully, give abundantly, and write vigorously as i have this summer. and for the most part, i did all those things.
but, all good things must come to an end (side note: i don’t actually believe that cliche’ but it fits for this post). and this mama sitting here, synced into her best friend’s wifi, is ready for normalcy. i’m ready for my own wifi. i have so many blog posts that were inspired and written during pure summer bliss, but i was never able to publish because our internet speed was so incredibly slow that as i would attach pictures to a post, it would say at the top,*793 minutes remaining for your upload*.
yes, i would get flustered. but since i’m the joy-choosing kind, i would just save the draft, and move on to something else. but eventually, it starting getting to me. i felt this urge to keep up with the momentum that i have when i’m settled at home: waking at 5 am, writing my to-do list, then going after it full speed…and then crashing at 10 pm with a full day of complete super powers.
when truth be told, i do not have super powers. what i have been shown by attending seminars and listening to my mentors is that you can actually engineer your day and work smarter, not harder. and i guess it’s safe to say that i like feeling like i’m riding my day. i feel like my days were the one riding me this summer.
i would try to wake up at 5 am to start crossing off my to-do list, but i would shake the camper and mary thought that was her invite to join me.
so instead i would choose joy (sort of) and play with her instead, while thinking how much i needed to get back to work. i don’t like being present with my babies but with my to-do list haunting me instead. i like getting my power-hour out of the way so that when i greet my babies in the morning, i’m not in work mode.
so i tweaked my schedule and rolled with the punches. i would get my focused work done after the kids went to bed. which left me with zero time to just simply be.
the camper is small. i have to remove boards just to rinse a dang apple from the sink. i knew the kitchen would end up being my biggest hurdle from the get-go since i’m a little chef and lover of veggie chopping.
i didn’t always chose joy this summer. i just didn’t.
after two weeks in, i was already looking on zillow for houses in the city we desired to land at the end of our tour. that would keep me focused on what this summer was about. this summer wasn’t about me. it was about giving myself up, sharing my heart, and being brave enough to share my story in hopes to inspire at least one person to choose a path filled with light, blessings, and to fiercely walk out of the generational curse that they were born into.
and i know without a doubt that i did just that. the messages that have flooded my inbox were my greatest reward. the tears that were shed on my shoulder after i spoke will never be forgotten. i could feel their pain, i could honestly feel their heaviness. some folks would weep so hard on my shoulder after i spoke that it would shake my entire body. because i stood up there, sharing their story. and for once in my life, i was speechless. instead of giving this powerful piece of advice, i would just weep with them. i would kiss them on the cheek, and simply say, “you can do this. i know you can do this.”.
and i truly believe that they can.
so what if i wasn’t able to blog my brains out like i had intended, and pump out my weekly newsletters. i had to pick which areas were important and which areas could be placed on the back burner until i gathered my barrings and landed.
and speaking of landing. just in case you might be wondering. we have prayerfully weighed our options and we’ve picked NASHVILLE, TN.
actually, let’s just be honest…nashville picked us. our new place is adorable, complete with a fireplace and a massive kitchen for this mama-chef.
this place feeds both our souls. the music scene makes my husbands belly jump, and healthy living makes me come alive. this place is crammed with juice bars, gyms, health food stores, bands, music shops, bass singers, song writers, dreamers, and i can’t wait to get my feet wet in this land of opportunity and do what i know i was called to do.
which is to simply….
i so badly wanted to sit down and publish last weeks post instead of being raw with how i feel today. you know, the one that would have made you see rainbows out of your peripheral??
but i like how vulnerability relates to others. it’s an unguarded way of living and there is so much LIFE in being bold.
“there is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” -Leonard Cohen
and my light is coming in the form of heading to north carolina in the morning to finish our tour where i get to get spoiled rotten by my mom, get my hair done, and eat cupcakes at my cousins store front.
i’m tired. but i’m choosing joy.
in HIM and in health,