i love my kids.  what parent doesn’t?  they each have my heart in different ways.  powerful, earth shattering ways.  it’s so neat to harbor this kind of love.  it makes the love that Christ has for us somewhat obtainable, and a little more able to grasp. 

it’s hard to comprehend that he actually loves us more than i love my children.  if i wasn’t a firm believer, i’d have to argue that i love my babies more than Christ does.  but…okay God, if you say so. 

but that’s just it, we are so incredibly loved by HIM.  and that is just so flipping cool.  he has our best interest in mind.  today at church, my heart lit up when the pastor s-l-o-w-l-y read one of the most common scriptures known to man. 

and for the first time, that scripture made me feel so far from where i’d like to be.  i guess i’ve never thought of this scripture as anything but a sweet, wonderful, perfect love.  and i guess you could say that i thought i kind of carried love out according to that scripture most of the time.  but i do not. 

it was very convicting.  but it was mostly awesome to have such a written example of the most perfect and pure form of love that ever existed.   

i’m just really challenged tonight to try harder.  i realized today that yes, i love fiercely.  but often times, my love is conditional.  maybe not necessarily with my children, but with others.  my babies most certainly have my unconditional love.  without a doubt. 

oh what i wouldn’t give to have the eyes of the Lord.  to see through peoples faults and into their hearts.  to hear the same story about that person that the Lord hears.  i try, yes, i really do.  but sometimes i suck at it, which alters my heart and causes offenses to build.  and quite frankly, causes me to cast out judgement. 

and one thing i hate more than anything in this world is judgement.  i find myself judging those who judge me.  it’s like an eye-for-an-eye type of system.  when really, it is just toxic and breeds more judgement. 

yuck, i hate it.  i want to love like Jesus.  so badly.  and although i’ll never be able to obtain such an innocent and relentless kind of love, i know that i need to try a little harder. 

the Lord wants us to possess such an incredible capacity of love because if you dwell in such a place, you are free from hatred, grudges, resentment, bitterness, and your life isn’t toxic.  you are free.  i’ve never thought of this scripture so deeply as i did today. 

1 Corinthians 13: 1-7: (read it s-l-o-w-l-y)

I may be able to speak the languages of men and even of angels, but if I do not have love, it will sound like noisy brass. 2 If I have the gift of speaking God’s Word and if I understand all secrets, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I know all things and if I have the gift of faith so I can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give everything I have to feed poor people and if I give my body to be burned, but do not have love, it will not help me.

4 Love does not give up. Love is kind. Love is not jealous. Love does not put itself up as being important. Love has no pride. 5 Love does not do the wrong thing. Love never thinks of itself. Love does not get angry. Love does not remember the suffering that comes from being hurt by someone. 6 Love is not happy with sin. Love is happy with the truth. 7 Love takes everything that comes without giving up. Love believes all things. Love hopes for all things. Love keeps on in all things.

after thinking about this all day long, i’ve picked out the areas where i am guilty: 

**i can be jealous.  dare someone to mess with my man!  see, told ya. 

**i can be AM prideful, need to work on that.  period.  Lord, help. 

**i get angry, i’m part cherokee indian.  does that excuse me? 

**i forgive easily, but i do hold on and remember things.  i do not forget.  that is toxic.  this i know.

and then there are areas where i’ve got this love thing under control.  and i guess you could say that until today, i thought i had it more under control than i actually do.  see, there goes that prideful, boastful, arrogant attitude blocking me from seeing that i need to work on some things.

i’m okay with that.  because i know that God sees my heart.  and through all my faults and shortcomings, which are plenty, he knows my story, and my journey.  and lucky for me, HIS judgement is the only one that is actually valid.  and from what i’ve just read, he believes in me.  he only sees greatness.  he believes in all of us.

oh to love others with the same purity and grace as i do my sweet husband and children.  that would be so dang cool.

relentless love.

unconditional love

unwavering love.

ahhh, great grace.

pause button please!

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1 Comment

  • k.mart

    Goodness, aren't we all? We always study these verses the week of Valentine's Day and you're right, when ready slowly, they are so convicting. But so beautiful. Taking heart that He's making me more like Him, smoothing out those rough edges and teaching me the true meaning of words like grace… and love. Happy belated Love Day to you and your quiver full!

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