a full heart. 

i love those. 

right now, i have one.

it’s quite amazing what a brief break from your children can do for you.  last week was one of my tougher weeks.  i was so preoccupied trying to learn all this BodyPump material for a weekend that was supposed to be a complete killer on my body, while still keeping up with home school, housework, laundry, cooking, and all-things-motherly……….all while being soft spoken and kind to everyone. 

well, lets just say that i am not aiming to be the person i was last week.  that person was way to high strung for my liking.  at one point i really felt like giving up on my true passion (aside from being a mother), which was furthering my knowledge for health and fitness.  it just seemed so overwhelming; the amount of information that i was to obtain in such a short period.  i never want to allow anything to cause me to lose my focus on being a mother and sewing into these little lives.

so instead, i gave myself a little bit of grace (after a phone call to a dear friend) and decided that with or without my certification coming up, i needed to be refined, refreshed, and gosh-darn it, mama needed a break.  by this time last week, i was counting down the days until i was about to be tortured, physically speaking.  i could not wait to go a full day without wiping a bottom.  i was so over nathan and lucy fighting over the same shared space.  or lucy mad at me because the under ware that she chooses to wear backwards is uncomfortable, and God forbid i try to turn them around to alleviate her wedgie, she’ll go mad. 

i needed last weekend.  it’s been amazing for me all across the map.  i did get to see my babies a little bit on both days which was nice, but for the most part, i was MIA. 

the training was insane, but i loved it up.  i felt confident that i knew the choreography, i felt strong, and i felt ready.  and in the end, i did it.  i passed the first part and i will be submitting my video to the big dogs within 30 days.  after that, i’ll be ready to BRANG IT to the bloomington YMCA.  i’m so excited because i’m already feeling stronger and seeing the change in my body. 

(disclaimer: nevermind the cheerleader that must still be stuck in my picture pose.  i can’t control it.)

***

back to that full heart that i spoke of in the first sentence of this post.  OH MY GOSH. i missed my babies.  come sunday, i couldn’t focus on the lectures about technique and form as i was wondering if mary was confused, or if lucy and nathan were asking for me.  my heart began to hurt for them.  i missed them, terribly

i needed to miss them.  i needed that little break from the sibling spats, the bottom wiping, and the temper tantrums.  it was good for my mommy soul.  i truly believe that while i was away, i was poured a heaping amount of patience to continue on my motherly way. 

i like the mommy i am this week.  and i promise you that this monday morning, i had a very occupied lap.  i was quite a big deal around here.

and my heart has been exploding every since.  i feel sharpened as a mother.  i immediately stepped back into my powerful role with a refreshed mind, body, and spirit. 

i love ending a day thinking, wow-i like the mommy i was today.  she rocks! 

which brings me to something i must share because i’m on a de-cluttering frenzy.  it’s totally crazy-awesome how good it’s making me feel.  clutter has a negative impact on my energy.  think about it; piled-up desks and corners, closets full of junk you don’t wear/use, unopened mail and unpaid bills–those things take a toll on your energy whether you think so or not.  deep down it’s a constant gnawing to get it done, but you push it off. 

well, not only did i NOT push it off, i turned it into a kindergarten/life-lesson on kindness.  you see, nathan is reading up a storm this year and i’m just so proud.  so, i decided that his next sight word to memorize would be,  ‘give’.  i explained to him that we were about to go though and give away lots of awesome toys.  he immediately started to tear up, saying, “but i want all of them.”.  after i explained to him that there are little boys and girls that do not have any toys to play with and that by giving them some of his really awesome toys, it would make them sooooo happy…..

well, he obliged

matter of fact, he got so carried away with giving that i had to stop him from giving away some of his dinosaurs, because truthfully, i’m not ready to see them go.  they were his first love and i don’t have it in my heart to part with them just yet. 

sister thought it was a game to see how many things we could stuff in each bag.  and maybe it’s better that way because she’d never gracefully part with that gosh-forsaken lawn mower.  oh you know the lawn mower that every kid absolutely loves to push through the house at the most inappropriate time and wake up newborns??  yeah, that one. 

you know the one i’m talking about…it’s on the left here:

along with feeling refreshed and de-cluttered, i’ve been meeting up with gals that have little people the same age as mine. 

while happily accepting invitations to an, at-home, Christmas party to celebrate the ending of a home-schooled semester. 

what a sweet bunch of cookie-making darlings.  happy that my babies were a part.

thankful for HIS mercies, they smell so sweet.

pause button please!

christy

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