show of hands here, please.
is it or is it not a lot of work to cook the whole thanksgiving feast, decorate the place into a fabulous oblivion, clean up all the droppings and scattered dishes, all while making it in time to another thanksgiving feast later that day………………………………………..all while fighting cancer?
that is right, folks. my mama is amazeballs. she just can’t help herself. however, she opted not to host thanksgiving this year (first time ever!) since it fell two days after her chemo treatment, and that has proven to be her day of pain to no avail.
except no, she straight up hosted it anyway (little stinker!!). it was last minute. and i got so mad at her for not resting instead. because that is what daughters do, they try to
fix help their mama’s out. when really, cooking, hostessing, and being the very last one to sit down and eat makes my sweet mama plenty happy. and no matter how many times i begged and pleaded with her to just take it easy and show up at the later event, just this one year. she just wasn’t satisfied.
talk about a true meal prepared with love (i wasn’t there, i’m just speculating.). i am certain that she was drained and malnourished of all her energy. i know for a fact that her whole body burns for about forty-eight hours after her chemo treatments. and i know that she gets nauseated and everything tastes like chalk to her.
and even still, she poured every little drop of love she had into cooking for those she loves. and even though i was mad at her for not resting, i totally forgave her, because i failed to realize that what she was doing was making her happy. and since i wholeheartedly believe that being happy has healing power, i believe that she made the right choice.
she is just the most selfless human being on this planet. i sure wish i would have been there to force her to sit down while i followed all her magical cooking directions, while she rested. then again, i wouldn’t have been able to stop her even still. that woman loves to serve others. always has.
i’m sitting here, sobbing, as i look back on her horrific, breast cancer journey. i have full confidence that the chemotherapy did it’s job and her body will be on the road to a full recovery. and when it’s made official and the doctors deliver her a cancer-clean, bill of health, we are celebrating. i’m flying her up, and we are taking a train to the streets of chicago, eating deep dish pizza, starting up random conversations with complete strangers (she and i both do that), and whatever else her little heart delights.
my mama’s fight hasn’t been easy and i know that. not because she would complain and mummer the whole time (although if she did, it would have been absolutely fine.), but because she cried more these past six months than i’ve ever heard her cry in my lifetime. her tears were followed with things like, “i just don’t feel right, my body burns and i don’t feel in control of myself and i hate this.”, she would sob some more and finish with, “i’m just sad today, but i’m going to be fine.”.
and i would cry with her, every time. i’m sooo happy that this nightmare is almost over. and eternally grateful that my mama is a survivor. i have sweet friends who aren’t as fortunate to still have their mama’s and my heart crumbles for them.
i would like to say that even though she cried more these past six months than she ever has, she is a complete badass (sorry mom, i know you hate when i cuss but you are a badass and i can’t think of an better adjective.). she had many more days where i almost forgot that she was fighting breast cancer because of how she carried on about her life. i’m still pretty awe-stricken by how well she pulled it all off. she’s incredible.
watching my mother fight this battle has actually given me an extra dose of courage to do the same in my life. and by fight, i mean to suck out all the good. always. no matter what.
she’s the bomb, that little mama of mine!!
to GOD be all the glory.
pause button please!
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