this post might never get published.  but i have to write. tonight i have the heaviest heart as i just learned that my father passed away today.  he passed peacefully in his sleep.  i am overwhelmed with a flood of thoughts that just don't make sense right now.  in the normal (what is normal?) situation, when ones dad passes away, i imagine a whole different grieving process. however, in my situation, it's just odd.  yes, i'm grieving.  but i'm not just grieving his death, but i'm grieving his life.  it's so strange. i haven't had much contact with him since my early twenties.  maybe two phone calls and two actual visits.  one of those visits was about three months back (THANK YOU LORD!).  had i not had that special day with him-where he got to meet all three of my children, i think i'd be a bit of a basket case right about now.  when ...

Continue Reading...

i'm so thankful for my mama for many things.  but right now, this moment, i'm thankful for the energy-gene that carried over to me.  i'm hyper.  and by hyper, i mean i do the tootsie roll followed up with the moonwalk when lucy goes pee-pee in the potty.  when, in all reality, a simple high five would suffice. i especially like to do these silly dance moves to make the husband look over, shake his head at how ridiculously immature i am, while simultaneously getting him to laugh. i love to be funny.  and i lovelovelove funny people.  and not only did i marry a fun-to-look-at man, but he's hilarious.  and he laughs at my dance moves.  jackpot.  go me!! and, he garage-sales with me.  it's usually his idea.  you can guarantee that i've never turned him down.  i'd rather go to the goodwill, a garage sale, or a consignment shop any day ...

Continue Reading...

you are just going to have to excuse my fall freak mode.  i haven't had a true fall in eight years.  and even though illinois has some really big shoes to fill-seeing how well i fit in the lovely state of florida, i am straight up loving this season to the maximum.  there are parts that remind me so much of north carolina, where i was born and raised, especially with the roadways drenched in beautifully painted leaf tunnels.  it's just so awesome to drive anywhere.  the weather is so similar to my hometown as well; chilly mornings and evenings, and cool-to-warm afternoons.  then you are thrown off by random days where the temp drops down to freezing without much warning.  then back to sixty again.  yep!  that's pretty much how i remember my childhood.  this time of year always reminds me of my mama.  that sweet little mama of mine would jump through hoops for us, every ...

Continue Reading...

today, i reflect on some bare-my-heart type of writing.  allow me to set the mood.  it's windy outside, dreary with little bouts of rain.  from my desk, i hear the whooshing of the wind and the pecking of my fingers against the keyboard.  it's nice.  so nice in fact that i stole a candle from the living room to seal the deal.  ahhhh, now i'm ready to write. so, here i sit, with the slight aroma of warm crackling campfire wafting though the room, wondering how to process what is in my heart, and has been for a while. if any of you know the struggles i've had-and still have with my darling son (you can read about that in this post), then you will know that when i talk about my children, and their struggles, it's nearly gut-wrenching.  but i do it because it's quite healing for me.  i truly believe that God paired ...

Continue Reading...

to me, home is any place that encloses the five of us.  so this new little town of bloomington, illinois is home enough for me. it's actually a pretty neat town.  on my recent to's-and-fro's, i've kept my eyes out for cutsie, and quaint little spots that i might find intriguing.  so far, i've spotted a cottage-like toy store that solely carries educational based toys.  and it's nestled in an older, illinois-style house.  i can't wait to check it out. the gingerbread house.  my little people are going to love this place. i've also scoped out a few mom-n-pop restaurants that look healthful and inviting. i ran into a fellow mama, who--after sparking up a conversation, told me about this organic food market called, common ground.  they have locally grown produce and meats.  i'm always a fan of supporting the local small business'.  so, yay for my list of things to check out. it's definitely ...

Continue Reading...

dude, my head is still spinning.  i mean seriously, i just left the blazing heat, and all-things-florida, to occupy a cozy little hardwood floored illinois home, where it's definitely not blazing hot.  at all.  not one little bit. it's just plum wild to be on the other side.  just a few short weeks ago i sat in my florida home wishing i could twich my nose, all bewitched style, and have my house packed, u-hauled to illinois, unpacked, and all set up.  i dreaded this process.  i have three little people who need constant attention and i just didn't know how on earth i was going to do it all. and quite frankly, now that it's all said and done, i don't know how we did it all.  it couldn't have been made possible without the outpouring of help that has came flooding in.  it's been rather overwhelming the amount of ...

Continue Reading...