with so much excitement boiling through my blood, seeing that i will be leaving my house at 4:00 am and heading to the hospital to greet my little mary, it's almost to much to contain.  so, i've channeled my energy off of myself and the arrival on my third baby, and onto a very sacred place in my heart. my mother. if you've been following my blog, you will know that she was hit with the devastating news that she has breast cancer.  you can about it in this post. her surgery is scheduled for tuesday, june 5th.  she will be undergoing a single mastectomy as well as reconstructive surgery all in the same day.  they will be removing two lymph nodes to test and see if cancer has spread, which we are believing it hasn't, and then she will be in major recovery mode for the remainder of the summer. my sugary sweet ...

Continue Reading...

you only have so much control when you are a parent.  sure, i can refuse a snack an hour before dinner.  and yes, i can tell them that we are not watching television right now.  and i can enforce bed times, manners, and kindness. but when a fever creeps in and blankets your upbeat, sweet-as-puddin-pie, four-year-old...you just can't control that.  oh but if i could.... being the very last weekend before i am unable to pick up my babies and sling them on my hip, jump in the car for a beach trip, or jump in the car for any kind of trip-at least for a while, i had a busy weekend filled with buckets of quality time in store for those two. on friday evening after the kids were in bed, i packed the shovels, buckets, and all other beach paraphernalia in the back of the van.  i chopped up the ripest, juiciest, watermelon you've ...

Continue Reading...

so it's wednesday at 7:15 am and the husband get's a text message from his boss.  it simply states, "you can take the day off." no strings attached.  just at random.  within no time i had pancake batter working, egg's cracked, and the stove a-blazin'.  i immediately channeled into my celebration-mode.  he did too, might i add.  he had hooked his ipod up to the speakers in the living room and cranked out some gospel jams and started hyping up the kids.  it felt holiday-ish. while preparing a warm breakfast for my favorites, my heart was exploding.  through the island of the kitchen, i see the three of them dancing in another world.  like i've said many times, nobody makes them as happy as daddy can.  not even me, and i'm just fine with that.   most of our mornings start out sluggish while i wait for the caffeine to send signals to my brain to get-a-move-on.  good thing daddy ...

Continue Reading...

mothers day. i remember my very first.  it didn't seem real.  that "happy mothers day" was being said to me.  really?  were people actually talking to me?  why yes they were.  i was a mom.  and at times, it still baffles me that i am the mommy in this house.  that this family is mine.  it's my greatest treasure. truly. if my mom taught me anything, it was how to love.  before i was a mother myself, i remember trying to process how she loved us.  i didn't grasp the strength of her love but i recognized it on the receiving end.  it felt so safe to be loved so tenderly.  soooo unconditionally. but when nathan was placed in my arms for the very first time, i went there.  i adopted this new heart that i had always seen my mother possess.  instantly filled to the brim.  overflowing, actually.  and since i became a mother, ...

Continue Reading...

this week took a very necessary shift.  a shifting that was so rich, and on-time.  this week showed up in a way that i couldn't have planned.  i love when life aligns right where you need it to, without effort. you see...it's lucy, my sweet baby girl.  the baby in our little four member family.  but that is about to shift a little.  she will always be my baby, just like nathan.  but no longer the baby in terms of age.  she will now become our second born.  i prefer that term instead of 'middle child'.  middle child has a step-kid stench attached to it.  they tend to be overlooked, left out, and shoved in the middle.  only to be outdone by the eldest, and the youngest.   but not my girl.  she's my second born.  since i'm fully aware of this possibility, i am positive that it will not happen to her.  'cause i'll work overtime to ...

Continue Reading...

i sit here blown away. i'm blown away at how much work needs to get done to prepare for a baby.  yes, this is my third time and i shouldn't be so shocked.  but i am.  as i'm stripping the car seat, swing, bouncy seat, and all that stuff that's been sitting in the garage-needing washed, i walk back in the house to a whole new task that wasn't there a moment ago. so i pick up all the dress up clothes, the angry bird debris, and little odds and ends that were flung throughout the house while i was busy stripping all the baby stuff.  which in turn makes getting anything done very tricky because i move two steps forward, and one step back. while i'm picking up the mess made while i was gone for ten minutes, i notice that lucy has taken off her diaper and peed on the ...

Continue Reading...

the first part of my week was eaten up with nervous energy while i heavily anticipated the results of my sweet mother.  i'm the hardest person in the world to contact because i usually have my phone turned off the first half of the day until i remember to turn it on, or i just leave it in the bottom of my diaper bag and don't hear it ring. oh but not last week.  i had that sucker with me if i went to the laundry room to switch clothes from the washer to the dryer.  every time it rang, i would glance at the incoming caller with high hopes that it was mom with some good news.   i didn't like the waiting game.  it was full of the unknown, and i wanted to know!!  i instinctively, yet unknowingly, turned to my littles for comfort.  they have this way about ...

Continue Reading...

i am breaking my number one blog rule:  NO BLOGGING WHILE THE KIDS ARE AWAKE! i like to blog while they nap, or are asleep for the night.  that way i don't get way to tuned into my thoughts, and tune them out.  but... today is different, and there are exceptions to every rule. so, allow me to distract them with the television and iphone while i give one more fabulous update. today my mother met with her doctor.  this is her very first consultation with him since she heard the news.  today was the day she was going to find out what stage, what steps, etc. while i'm leaving my ob appointment (baby mary is doing great, measuring small like the rest of my babies), i receive the overly anticipated phone call.  when i saw that it was mom, my stomach dropped.  with a tremble in my voice, i said "hey mom...well????" on the receiving end was a chipper ...

Continue Reading...

my family is about to go on a journey that i truly never thought we'd happen upon.  like, ever-ever-ever.  even though i do not have the update that i so desperately wanted, i sit here with peace.  for that i am thankful. it's my dear mother.  the most dearest person in my life.  the woman who i fiercely try to mimic, yet will never be able to obtain that capacity of greatness.  the kind of person that i've never heard speak an ugly word about anyone.  the kind of person that puts herself last and wouldn't dare have it any other way.  the kind of person that has never had an enemy.  the kind of person that is next in line to perfection.  my sweet, sweet mama. a few weeks back she went in for a yearly check-up and they found a few lumps on her breast and sent her for a ...

Continue Reading...